Feeling the wet water waves one by one crawling over my bare feet and body, cleansing me of trials and tribulations, a lifetime of experiences that stained my heart and soiled my soul, each wave being an apology from those who are at fault, a second chance at cleanliness, at purity, music from the streaming of the wind through the leaves in autumn trees, not screaming or gossiping, not words of impurities, a clean wind and a clean water--all over, sprayed on me, misted on me, splashed on me.
A mikvah is in the air, a body of water with more than 10% natural rain water: water filling tohu, water causing bohu. Waters from the Heavens above, saturating the fired coals on the Earth below, putting out smoke, chasing away ghosts, drowning out all evil; a change has been made, no one gets hurt, the water caresses everyone with G-d's mighty hands and brings comfort to the wounded, solace to the bereaved.
Death and uncertainty follows us like a cloud, a dark ominous thunderstorm cloud, with dense fogginess everywhere to block our vision so we cannot see the goodness, the shadows are too dark. A future that cannot be predicted, a future alone, a future that doubts a G-d, a future that one creates for oneself, a future of wretchedness, a future of a scoffer.
An understanding that one's life becomes holy when the doubting and distrusting ceases, when G-d takes over your life, when you no longer have to prove it, to predict it, to convince or persuade others. A life of complete ease, like a carousel merry-go-round spinning to music, circling to G-d's desires, to affirm the peaceful place in your heart and keep it beating to the sounds of songs, to the sounds of His loving and caring for you and the loved ones in your life.
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